Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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