Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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