i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
