the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
