just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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