Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have post one night stand depression
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