I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
