Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
