Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
