Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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