What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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