sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need to stop coming to work sober
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize