either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
