Porn is love you can see.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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