mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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