I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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