It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
