Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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