You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
