There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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