Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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