; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
