Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
