Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize