I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
