Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
