they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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