so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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