Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
