Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize