I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I am morally bankrupt
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
