At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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