She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
