Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
