My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
