i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
