Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
someone owes me an orgasm
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
