Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Found your dick twin last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
