Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
