Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize