I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
