"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
