Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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