it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize