Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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