I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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