dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
