Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize