Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
