She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I checked into jail on foursquare
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
