I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
