all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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