you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
