So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
