He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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