so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
