Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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