Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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(703): View more from Virginia

There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot

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(630): View more from Illinois

Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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(979): View more from Texas

He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..

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(703): View more from Virginia

A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real

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