Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
