Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
